Dating a married man

I was taking a 20 minute walk to the bus station a couple of weeks ago. A very nice looking man drove past me then stopped for a moment, and reversed his car next to me. He asked, “Where is this beautiful lady walking to in this heat?” I answered, “On the way to the bus station”. He asked, “What is her name?” I said, “She’d rather not tell.” The guy smiled and then proceeded to ask if I wanted a ride to the bus station. I said “no thanks”, but then after some persistence from him and compliments about how my complexion is just right and the sun might damage it, I accepted. In his car we introduced ourselves to each other. He looked like someone who was in his mid-thirties. He was very well groomed and polite. We spoke about the earthquake in Haiti and his concern for Haiti got me to see a very sensitive side in this man. I actually found myself interested to know more about him. We chatted for about five minutes and it felt like we knew each other forever; we got along well.

He stopped the car at the bus station and asked if we could hook up sometime for some coffee as he only worked for a few hours a day. I was just about to say yes but then noticed a wedding band on his finger… Now that created this scenario in my mind:

•           We would meet up as platonic friends at first.

•           We had so much in common and I could tell by the way he looked at me that he was physically attracted to me.

•           I thought he was really good looking, and he was my hero for that day having given me a ride to the bus station; I was in a vulnerable situation and he had saved me.

He was a good man.

•           It was obvious that after a few meetings, we would take the relationship to another level, a romantic level.

•           Then I would be the other woman, like my friend Jane.

I thanked him for the ride and opened the door to his car. He asked for my mobile number and I said “no. Bye” and crossed over to the bus stop. I did not want to be Jane. I refused to be Jane.

My colleague Jane is currently having an affair with a married man. It got me wondering why women do this, and also, as a woman, are you just completely disregarding that there is another woman in this triangle who will feel loads of pain, hurt and hatred when and if she found out? In the past few years, I have heard from so many of my acquaintances how their husbands have had affairs with other women. That prompted me to find out more why women do this to each other. For more on dating please visit http://tricksfordating.blogspot.com/